A complete pause
Half motion-sick, I stumbled off the coach. To my left, a glittering flow of cars three lanes strong whooshes past. Looks like a lot of people still have somewhere to be tonight. Not me, though.
Stepping back into my childhood home, it felt strange... to not to feel strange. I was only away for about two months before fall break started. But it was as though I hadn't spent any time away at all.
Like usual, I wasn't dying to taste the dinner my mom made, though on this occasion it had a warmth I hadn't experienced in a while. My cats greeted me with the same sniffing of my clothing they would have done any other time I went out. And when I got ready for bed, I smoothly auto-piloted through every task of my routine while scrolling videos on my phone.
But for the first time since my age entered the double digits, I felt no more pressure at home. I'd gotten used to swimming in a never-ending sea of things to prepare for, to anticipate. A sea filled by my concerns over how I'd fare after high school.
I have the answers to many of those concerns now. I attend a university I like, the classes aren't too hard, I'm meeting cool people, and internship applications have been... well, as a freshman, there's not too much I can do for now.
For once, I feel free to protect my peace. I find myself actually relaxing during an academic break, rather than using it as an opportunity to get some work done. Being productive remains a possibility, but the question is different now, one of how I really take care of myself, instead of how some poor high schooler tries to optimize themselves for college admissions. Facing a week-long recess after the first wave of midterms, the answer is obvious to me: I won't be doing anything useful this week.
Woe is my brother though, who, in turn, is now entering the tumult of secondary school. Have fun!